Celebrating the organic flow within self expression and the infinite truth it so sweetly offers. Love is our most sacred space to share.
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expression

expression

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11/11/17

in love like never before

I MISS THE WAVES SO BADLY. I DONT CARE WHAT THEY SAY. YOU SEE...I HAVE THIS LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE OCEAN. I DONT CARE WHAT HE THINKS. IM DEEP. LIKE HER. THE WOMB. ITS INTIMATE. IT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE. SENSUAL. CREATIVE. FKN INSPIRED. I WANNA GO HOME. I HAVE TO MOVE SO SLOW. MELTING IT ALL THE TIME. I DREAM OF YOU. MY DESIRE IS HONEY. LIKE GOLDEN DRIPS FROM THE DIVINE. GETTING SWEETER AND SWEETER WITH TIME. JUST FOR YOU. I WANNA TASTE THE SALT ON MY SKIN. I WANNA TASTE IT ON YOURS. WHEREVER YOU ARE.  JUST AS WILD AS ME. LIVING FOR FREEDOM. LOVE. ANYTIME. ANYPLACE.  WAITING. THEY TAUGHT me TO BE PATIENT. IM SO THIRSTY. I MISS THE WAVES SO BADLY. YOU SEE IM IN LOVE...LIKE NEVER BEFORE.

AMO LAS  OLAS - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/14/15

if i close my eyes im fluid

HERE I GO. TIMELESS. CLASSIC. SO FKN GOOD. IF I CLOSE MY EYES IM FLUID. THE MORE I MOVE INTO IT THE MORE I FEEL IT...ITS SO AMAZING. IF ONLY YOU WOULD GO THERE. EVERYONE SO SCARED...THIS LOVE. JUST ME AND GAIA. I WANNA FEEL THE OCCEAN. I NEED HER. LONGing FOR HIM. HE KNOWS IT. OUT OF CONTROL. WILD. ALIVE. still...LIKE NEVER BEFORE. RISING. ITS SO DEEP. MELTING ALL MY SENSES INTO A POOL OF GOLDEN LIQUID. SHIMMERING. UNKNOWN. MY SURRENDER FIXED ON YOU. WHEREVER YOU ARE...IN THE BLUE GREEN. SO HOPELESS IN LOVE. IF I CLOSE MY EYES IM FLUID.

AMO LAS OLAS - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/15/17

im so bored

Show me what you look like without skin. I'm so bored. I don't care what you've done or who your destined to be. I want the real thing. It won't stop now. This endless surrender into sensual creativity. This swell. This love. The sweetest love. Nectar. The deepest. Unlike anything before. It's not sexual. It's sensual. There's a difference. Every moment is art. GOD. Brilliant. I melted into the crystalline That night when I had to crawl. That night I awoke. I remembered. That night my breath took me into the depths. My diamond eyes guiding me into the sacred geometry of Gaia. My soul. That night I remembered why I love the way I do. Why they run. See I am no servant to Love for servants have a choice. No...I am a slave to Love. Like I should be kickin it with Rumi and Haviz. Hopeless and drowned. So I move slow...sometimes stumbling drunk with desire in this unknown ecstasy. Effortlessly falling. Dripping. Cheeks flushed. Skin feels light. Cells vibrating. Bones sinking. Drifting further and further. Singing to the waves. Hugging the trees. Belly down on the earth. Fingers in my hair. Hand holding my heart. When will it end? I drop down to curl my spine. Role my hips and pour my love endlessly. My eyes close still fixed on you. Softly. Seductive. Like a dream. Slower and slower I go. I wanna see what you look like without skin. I'm so bored. But first I wanna look in your eyes and touch your face. I've waited so long to know you.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/16/17

cant sleep

i miss my bed. not the one i settled on that was way to hard for my sweet little body...the one i let go of so effortlessly because i knew it would never be able to hold this love. its the one ive yet to dream upon.  maybe thats why i cant sleep.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/17/17

ill say when

if i go there dont tell me to stop. dont tell me im too much. he's right you know...the moon would never say such a thing to the sun. i like the moon. she prefers depth over distance everytime. the swells gonna roll in no matter how much you resist. reach down and touch it for yourself. you havent seen anything yet. i told you once...this love is no lie.  this heart is the truth. if i go there dont tell me to stop...ill say when. 

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/18/17

THRIFTING

I WAS THRIFTING FOR SUMMER DRESSES YESTERDAY AND YOU CAME TO ME. LIKE A WAVE OF HONEY. SO SWEET MY MOUTH WATERED. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR MAYBE YOU DONT. HERE FOR THE HOUR OR POSSIBLY THE NEXT LIFETIME. THING IS IM A FOOL. HOPELESS. RECKLESS. IVE BEEN HERE MANY TIMES BEFORE ONLY TO BE DEFEATED BY THE WORDS OF TRICKERY OR THE MASTERMIND OF NO WORDS AT ALL WHICH IS DEATH TO MY BEATING HEART FOR I LONG TO HEAR YOU SPEAK. YOUR VOICE. SOFT AND SUNKISSED. INTOXICATING. WHEN YOU COME NOW MY EYES BURN. I FEEL DIZZY. THE SWELL DROPS IN AND A WATERFALL FOLLOWS DEFYING ANY REALM OF SENSIBILITY. I FEEL YOU IN EVERY CELL OF MY BODY OCEANS APART. IM NOT AFRAID OF YOUR SHADOWS OR THE PAIN. TRUTHFULLY, SOMETIMES THE LIGHT IS SO BLINDING. BORING. TOO BRIGHT FOR THIS LOVE IF EVER SUCH A THING COULD EXIST. YOUR DARKNESS IS BEAUTIFUL. DONT BE SO SCARED. MY HEARTS SORROWS ONLY TURNING INTO SPARROWS WITH HER LOST FEATHER SURRENDERING INTO YOUR WIND. I WAS THRIFTING FOR SUMMER DRESSES YESTERDAY AND YOU CAME TO ME. HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT I CHOSE.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/19/17

DO

i dont think i can hold it much longer.  i dont know if I can contain it. I DONT KNOW IF I TRUST IT THIS TIME. I DONT WANT TO KEEP BREAKING IT DOWN. I JUST WANNA FEEL IT. STEADY HONEY SPARROW...STOP DONTING. DO.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/20/17

loves my hair down

i was relieved to hear of your lover. everyone has to eat but i like organic food. ill take good conversation over rum and coke everytime.  i cant eat, let alone breathe when you blow smoke…it makes me cough and you liked my hair up. thats why you practice floating on the surface. i dive deep. i was relieved to hear of your lover. these herbs are rare. i only eat organic and he loves my hair down.

amo las olas - kf

 

11/21/17

its getting good now

its getting good now. better then the fire works that night you softly touched my hip and the free fall began. better then the first time we met and i knew my eyes were fixed on you even though my time was taken. I've thought of you everyday since.  i wake up at 3 dreaming of your dimples. i like to see you smile. sometimes i hope i don't hear from you so it can settle. so i can dance with more grace. i don't want to keep showing up with dead flowers at the feet of the false beloved. i brought honey this time infused with trust. you know i love honey. i told you. its in a tall jar that tastes and smells of geraniums. i saved the first bottle for you but you never came. now here you are. Thankfully honey just gets sweeter and sweeter with time. Like you and me. classic. its getting good now.

 

practice what you preach honey sparrow

im cold. theres this chill and unease that wont lift. no matter what i do this will never feel right. this place home. so ungrounded. foreign to me now. the air is static and the constant buzz of rush makes my skin crawl. i feel like veruca salt. i want the waves now. please...no more talking about "yoga". christmas. money. the state of our nation. the lack of compassion or connection. show me your heart. i dont care to see these colors. the cars. the buildings. its dark. my bones ache. so difficult to drop in. i long to be warm. oh but its god. its creation. its art. its beauty. its truth. its sacred. the suffering divine. its all fkn love...practice what you preach honey sparrow...come on now.

amo las olas - kf

 

11/22/17

its crazy the things we will do for love

its crazy the things we will do for love. even more insane how we run from it. when he asked me for my love SPIRIT screamed NO! i said yes and my heart slammed shut. there was a screen door id open each morning to let him out and my beloved in with the palo santo. it worked for awhile. she said...you need more time alone honey sparrow. you only know union. you haven't landed yet. i say... what the fuck is wrong with that?  to be devoted is to be devoted. to love is to love. i don't want to share my honey with the circus. i mean I'm not stingy and i love the show its just too sweet for them. anyways, I’m kneeling in the most stunning garden I've ever witnessed. its delicate…enchanting. you all should know by now I'm never gonna fit in your box. I’m never going to surrender this love. its all that i know. i remember the words im patient and it will  get better with time. i take another breath. its crazy the things we will do for love. like wait.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/23/17

Thank you

Oh beloved. thank you. how i drop to my knees and kiss your feet. holding this precious heart i bow to your undying love. i am your slave. over and over and over again i come to you. so blessed is this life. this love a golden sparkling splender of absolute surrender. i am in love...like never before. thank you.

amo las alos - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/24/17

sour grapes

i truthfully dont want to think of you. sometimes when i do the tatse of sour grapes appears on my tongue rather then the honey of before. energetic sludge full of nonsense. i drove by our only kiss where they lace you up tight. it was on my way to give thanks. you know how fiesty i am so i threw my middle finger up and wished you praise smiling all along. i can only imagine that would make you laugh. no hard feelings. my arms stretched wide for you always. stil...it was thanksgving and i felt grateful i never let you all the way in. your laces are too tight and you left the taste of sour grapes.

amo las olas - kf

 

11/25/17

Melt

it doesn't take much to melt this heart. i awoke to cars and sirens again. skin frozen cold and no waves or birds.  i brought my knees in close to my chest and curled up like a hopeless lover. i rise to see you glowing in the dark. Something about you. i listen. the birds were singing behind your sweet voice when you spoke of the waves. i smiled. They know love. i forgot i was cold and i drew a perfect circle from my heart to yours. round and round we go. such an epic ride. it doesn't take much to melt this heart.  

amo las olas -honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/26/17

FLY IN FEBRUARY

JUST WRITE HONEY SPARROW. COME ON! FLY! I CAN FEEL IT FADING WITH THE LOST SUNSETS. I ONLY WANT TO SING OF LOVE. THE REAL KIND. THE KIND THAT MAKES ME SHY. THE KIND THAT IS PATIENT AND SUN KISSED. DID I MENTION THE SPARROWS CAME TO ME? IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY ON THE BLUFF WHERE THEY INVITED ME INTO THIS DIVINE RESURRECTION YEARS AGO. I REMEMBER. JUST WRITE HONEY SPARROW. COME ON! FLY! I BOW MY HEAD POURING THIS LOVE ENDLESSLY ONCE AGAIN AND FEEL ITS TOO COLD TO FLY PLUS MY WINGS ARE TIRED AGAIN. ITS WINTER GAIA CHIMES IN. JUST WRITE. FLY IN FEBRUARY. 

AMO LAS OLAS - KF

 

11/27/17

I'm too immature for social media

i just have to do it. some dance with my ego. i express whatever the fuck i want and this is art. love. if i see one more picture of your body staged and contorted i think I'm gonna barf and this is yoga. love. 1250 hours of what? cant you all see that what you really need to do is shut the fuck up and surrender. Please….enough. meditate. tranquilo. im no guru. i remind you as i remind myself. do i have to do it? this dance with my ego? so i come here…to create where no one follows. away from likes, lurking and my own dark insecurities. I'm too immature for social media.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/28/17

Loneliness

Loneliness is more comforting in the arms of the Beloved. my skin can soften in the midst of the fear that this dark place brings. in a home that is lost and feels most discomforting with all its separation. it can feel like torture digging through it all again and again, he cradles my tender heart like a divine newborn. so sweet even Mary smiles and offers her golden milk.  She's says - let go honey sparrow. When i fall into those words written on the 27th he brings me here. pen to paper and blows sweet and sometimes sour nothings into my ear. He's says - shhhhh. I listen. Dont think. still a slave for love. he taught me to turn the sound of the train into the sound of the waves where i left my soul floundering with the manta rays. Where i left my heart beating out of my chest widely singing to my king. his eyes sharp like diamonds and these eyes fixed on the final cut. Loneliness is more comforting in the arms of the Beloved. I'm so thankful I'm never alone. 

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/29/17

what i know

i dont know anything at all except this. i said it before and ill say it again. singing to the waves - hugging the trees - belly down to Gaia with sapphire moons in my eyes i must hold my heart and proclaim…i am a slave for love. over and over and over again i pour myself upon you. this trust my only bank account. for days and days and days i bow whole heartlingly. timeless. There is no choice so there is nothing to know. you wouldn't believe me if i told you what God whispered to me this morning thru the words of Hafiz. i dont know anything at all except this…LOVE. 

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

11/30/17

bite your tongue honey sparrow

bite your tongue sparrow. hold your words sacred tonight...like the delicate feathers written on your wrists... so you may take better flight in the morning. its wiser to travel light. my mama taught me that.  bite your tongue honey sparrow.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

 

it is written you know. stars never lie. My love is endless like the universe. wild, boundless and difficult to harness. many HAVE tried only to be deFEATED. LIKE A PRINCE POSING AS A KING OR A KOOK IN THE OCEAN UNGRATEFUL. SUCH A SHAME. O BUT my heart is laid out before you once again. feel free to try it on FOR I THINK IT WILL FIT BETTER THIS TIME. pleaSe be gentle for These soft blue eyes are inviting you to come rest. can you see the mirror reflecting our souls? i wrote your name in the sand and watched the tide erase it with my tender heart and disappointment. then i looked up to grandfather sky and what i saw was this - aNOTHER perfect circle from my heart to yours and in the middle 3 unique galaxies dancing as one! i guess the cosmos prefer mystery and good timing. Twinkle Twinkle. It is written you know. Stars never lie. 

amo las olas -honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/2/17

ALMOST HOME

 HERE I GO AGAIN. INTO A NEW SPACE. THE SOUTH HILL BECKONING AND THE WIND IS CHILLED. HERE I GO AGAIN. INTO A NEW SPACE. THIS TIME THERE WILL BE THE VIBRATIONAL SOUND OF PURRRRRRRR…AS SACRED AS OM.  HERE I GO AGAIN. INTO A NEW SPACE. THE LAST BIT COCOONED IN MY MAMAS NEST AS SHE PLAYED THE ROLE OF MARY CARRYING THE TWO GOLDEN CROSSES CRADLING MY DREAMS.  HERE I GO AGAIN. INTO A NEW SPACE. MELTING INTO THE GRATITUDE PIECE. THE WORDS A BHAKTI TIMELESS WONDER. FORMLESS AND UN NAMABLE. HERE I GO AGAIN. INTO A NEW SPACE. MY EYES AND HEART FIXED ON MY KING. THE MOST EPIC LOVE STORY OF ALL. CLASSIC. OCEANIC. HERE I GO AGAIN. INTO A NEW SPACE. ANOTHER WAVE OF GRIEF. THIS LIFE NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED SHE REMINDED BEFORE I LEFT.  HERE I GO AGAIN. ALMOST HOME. 

AMO LAS OLAS - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/3/17

 SPECIAL SAUCE

I DONT KNOW IF ANYONE SEES ME EXCPET LOVE. I NEED TO BE QUITE. JUST WAIT FOR THE SPECIAL SAUCE TO BE SERVED. ITS BEEN SIMMERING FOR SOME TIME NOW. I TALK A LOT AND HALF THE TIME I DONT KNOW WHAT ABOUT ANYMORE. I HEAR THE WORDS BUT I DONT FEEL THEM LIKE BEFORE. MORE NONSENSE. MORE DOING. SOMETHING IN THE AIR YET EVERYONE IS RUNNING AROUND HANDS IN PRAYER SCREAMING - LOOK AT ME!  AM I GOOD ENOUGH! DO I HAVE WHAT YOU WANT! IS IT MORE ORGANIC THEN HIS OR HERS! MY SAUCE IS THE BEST! myself included. I JUST WANNA FLY NOT RUN. I DONT FIT IN YOUR SHOES AND MY WINGS ONLY WISH TO SHELTER YOU. I KNOW YOU WONT ADMIT TO IT SO ILL CONTINUE TO PLAY THE ROLE OF THE SACRED FOOL WHILE THE JUDGEMENT DANCES AND THE FAKE SMILES ARE OFFERED IN MANTRA. THATS WHY IM NO GURU. I AM A SLAVE FOR LOVE. DONT TELL ME YOU GET IT WHILE YOU OBTAIN MORE AND MORE MATERIAL AND FLOAT ON THE SURFACE. LIKE A CONVEYER BELT…ROUND AND ROUND WE GO. SPITTING THEM OUT. HOW CAN WE TAKE A SPIRITUAL LIFE - PACKAGE IT UP AND SELL IT? GIVE IT A NAME AND NUMBER AND CALL IT GOOD? TEACH THE WAY! WHAT WOULD THE RISHIS THINK? WHAT ABOUT GOD? HAVE YOU EVER EVEN MET THEM? MET YOURSELF? have I? we have a choice. MAKE THAT CHOICE SURRENDER. FOLLOW YOUR HEART INTO STILLNESS. INTO THE WOMB WHERE YOU ARE YOGA. ALIVE AND IN ABSOLUTE WONDER! NOW NOW HONEY SPARROW…STOP ASSUMING. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND NOT THE LIKES. LAST TIME I LOOKED IVE NEVER HAD MORE THEN 60. AND THEY TELL ME THATS THE GOLDEN TICKET. SELLING MY BODY TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. PLEASE. WHAT WOULD THE MOTHER THINK? HOW ABOUT THIS? I NEED TO BE QUITE. KEEP SURRENDERING AND WAIT PATIENTLY FOR THE SPECIAL SAUCE TO BE SERVED. ITS BEEN SIMMERING FOR SOME TIME NOW AND I WANNA TASTE - NOT TALK. 

AMO LAS OLAS- honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/4/17

Deeper

i wanna go deep. Every time. there was digging this morning. Drilling into caverns of shame. i surrendered into the roots of gratitude. Theres more. Always more. I'm not afraid. even if he's not the one. even if i lose more. I’m not afraid. i wanna go deep. Every time.

 amo las olas -honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/5/17

its the 5th of December

i will not lie…i feel lonely for him.  the last time i truly felt loved by him was so long ago. the 5th. I've wondered over the years why that number is symbolic. i should not write too much for ill give it away. He's not mine anymore. but still…he was the last time i truly felt loved by him. I'm a hopeless romantic. i believe in that undying knowing that they will be yours. Somehow. i fell the first time. i fell the last. changing my name and carrying his life. islands in the sun. palm trees in our eyes. ventures in the background. Aspen trees and canyons far away. wild. free. Adventure in our veins. Love on our minds. waves crashing. Tropical storms. he was my very best friend. my lover. my heart. my suffering. my joy. he didnt touch my soul for he held it. i will not lie…i feel lonely for him. him is not him anymore. i let him go long ago. I’m just writing…just another hopless romantic and its the 5th december.

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/6/17

heres the thing

heres the thing. if I'm off again what does this say of my consciousness?  it may seem easy and effortless to be so aloof all the time. Its not. i remember our conversations and how you taught me to look beyond any sense of wonder. you taught to be a slave for love, for you were my first and shall be my last. i use to play in my grandfathers catholic priest attire. it was in a brown paper bag on the left side of my closet. pretending to be a nun i kissed a boy in there. and a girl. i also saw my cat mittens give birth. i cried. i feel more and more like that child each day. Further and further away from confinement. Growing down. breaking these chains of injustice. for her. for him. for love. for oneness. the separation blinds me so i looked. i saw you everywhere. staring at the stars spinning round and round. cartwheels into flips. Stolen innocence beyond the backyard fence into this waking dream where i write again. where i create. where i am fluid. where i trust. where i dance. where i dream. where the ocean holds me. the womb of all that is. where my true love awaits. thats the thing. what if I'm off again? what does this say of my consciousness?

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/7/17

ITS POURING FREEDOM

IS ANYONE OUT THERE?  THESE WORDS WONT STOP NOW.  ITS POURING FREEDOM.  NO USE RUNNING. NO USE HIDING. IF I DRESS THEM UP IN CONTORTION AND FLESH WILL YOU NOTICE? FOR JUST A SPLIT SECOND AS MY FINGER TIPS HIT THE KEYS I SAW AN IMAGE OF MYSLEF WITH MY HAND OVER MY MOUTH! FOR REAL! JUST NOW! THE WORDS TAKE ME THERE. SHAMANIC AND TRANSFORMATIVE. NO MORE SACRED WHORE. CREATE CREATE CREATE! EXPRESS EXPRESS EXPRESS. LOVE HONEY SPARROW. LOVE. GO DEEP EVERY TIME. IS ANYONE OUT THERE. THESE WORDS WONT STOP NOW. ITS POURING FREEDOM.

 

MOUNTAINS MEET THE WAVES

MMMMMM. I LIKE YOU. MOUNTAINS MEET THE WAVES. I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED YOU WOULD COME BACK AROUND. WE BOTH GAVE UP WITH POTENTIAL ON THE HORIZON ADMIRING THE SUNSET. IM LOOKING UP. PALM AND PINE. SALT AND VANILLA. NO SAUCE PLEASE. NO BULLSHIT. ONLY LOVE. MMMMM. I LIKE YOU. MOUNTAINS MEET THE WAVES. 

AMO LAS OLAS -honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/8/27

if no one told you

if no one told you today...i love you.

amo las olas -honey sparrow (kf)

 

 

12/10/17

A work of art in process

Loving. Wild. Imperfect. Compassinate. Respectful. Feisty. Grateful. Inspired. Bored. Expectful. Free. Possessed. Sensual. Giving. Selfish. Kind. Naughty. Nurturing. Confident. Insecure. Humble. Competitive. Forgiving. Sexy. Shy. Unfiltered. Territorial. Beautiful. Ugly. Raw. Happy. Sad. Ready. Unfinished. Exhausted. Dirty. Natural. Shameless. Fearless. Soft. Sweaty. Closed. Open. Salty. Weathered. Sandy. Gentle. Wet. Dry. Hard. Witty. Dreamy. Obsessed. Spicy. Sweet. Romantic. Strong. Weak. Crazy. Sane. Loyal. Prideful. Trusting. Stubborn. Childlike. Angry. Chill. Passionate. Dim. Sparkling. Gnarly. Smart. Intense. Easy. Forgetful. Enduring. Classic. Reelentless. Calm. Inpatient. Endless. Anxious. Surrendered. Outspoken. Modest. Willing. Critical. Accepting. Picky. Hopeless. Joyful. Promiscuous. Traditional. Spiritual. Unpredictable. Flowing. Devoted. Still. Adventurous. Dark. Supportive. Light. Withdrawn. Protective. Honored. Empty. Full. Independent. Commited. Lost. Found. Here. Gone. ..you just dont know what your gonna get. A work of art in process. 

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/12/17

I don’t know what to say about it

I don’t know what to say about it. Not quite sure how to feel. In the blue green I thought you were my friend. Not my lover. My friend. I tried so hard to show you my heart. Not a lovers heart. A friends heart. You took that tender flesh and ate it. Gobbled it up and didn’t even say thank you. Is it because everyones gotta eat? I was only kind to you. Intense but only kind. How could you be so careless with your non words? Nothingness. Like a knife to my back. I know better then to ask so Ill say thank you instead. I always rise and you know I love the depths. You left a small wound in my heart. Maybe I can anoint it with my compassion and forgiveness. I have a honey pot over flowing and its sweetness is perfect for the mending. Its golden nectar from the heavens. Heaven is full of friends and lovers. Even enemies and strangers. You feel like a stranger to me now. Not a lover. Not a friend. I don’t know what to say about it. Not quite sure how to feel.

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/13/17

he is the ocean

Theres something. Its coming. I just need to move slow. Feel the delicacy of the flow. Drifting further and further. Endlessly fluid. He is the ocean. Alive and moving. Calm and still. Im drowning in utter delight. Kind waves. Patient waves. Forever wild and free. Natural. The tide has brought him back. My swell gushing.  All these dances. All worth it. From birth to death. She's rising. Diving down deep. Soaring above. Living her dreams. Trusting in him. From GOD - to daddy’s little girl - to stolen innocence - to first kisses - to first love - to first cosmic wonder - to first heartache - to lost husbands - to a flying son - to betrayal and deceit - to surrender and ecstasy -  to delusion and self denial - to falling in love like never before - to now.  All these dances. All worth it. Theres something. Its coming. I just need to move slow. Feel the delicacy of the flow. Drifting further and further. Endlessly fluid. He is the ocean. 

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (-kf)

 

12/16/17

Im down for you

Im down for you. So down. Its on. When I turned you off last time I knew the facet was broken cause it kept dripping. Keeping me up all night. Drip. Drip. Drip. You got the dates. One last chance. Pick me up, twirl me, taste my sugar lips and take me on an adventure. I swear your the ocean. The real deal. You wont stop now. No kooks allowed. Classic north meets dirty south. Tip to bottom. Mountains drowned in the waves. Im down for you. So down. Its on.

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/19/17

Uneasy and Insecure

I feel uneasy and insecure in my skin. In this moment. Utterly helpless. Pressure. Its raining doubt from my dark clouds. I was already a little behind. My window wipers broken. With a capital letter F for FUCK. Its pouring. Slush flying. Grey skies. Cold hands. Hard skin. Cant see clear. Reckelss. I arrive to class and nobody is there. No show. Why do I bother offering myself like a sacred whore over and over again? Its a constant mirror of my self worth or lack of. Im bored with it all. I just want to express and love. This man said that wasn't authentic. Who is he? He doesn't know his guides? I dont like it. Like the night I crawled. I was her. Birthing. I am a fucking Nymph Faerie with a capital letter F. They all want to swim but are unworthy of this ocean. I call upon Angel Michael to sever completely any conscious or un conscious ties to this energy. I told you words ago the swell is gonna come no what how hard you resist. I will rise with it all. With you. I am a slave for love. I surrender into trust. Into gratitude. Into endless compassion. Still its pouring. Slush flying. Grey skies. Cold hands. Hard skin. Cant see clear. I arrive home and its all here. A spectacular show. I offer myself to myself. Over and over again. The suffering of self worth a true struggle. A little less uneasy and insecure in this moment as I keep it flowing with constant creation. Fucking Fly Honey Sparrow. With a capital letter F. Easy and secure in your skin. Helpful. Soft. Its rainng love from the Heavens. 

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/20/17

Anxious

Im anxious. Money brings me much fear. I feel paralyzed. Immobile. Nothing to give except more of myself. These words. My bleeding heart. All my precious trinkets will be placed before you this Christmas. This is all thats left of my material life. All that I have. Don't say you understand as you cut the tags off your items purchased. So alone surrounded by faces. Like Im the only one giving it all away. I feel like I'm being raped. Like Gaia. Over and over. I feel like Im being blessed. Like Gaia. Over and over. What the fuck am I doing? How is this even happening? Under attack here. This town. Yoga is dead. Anxiety. Above rather then below. I wanna go deep. No shows. Fake smiles. Lululemon. More trainings than offerings. Gotta get that cash flow. I don't fit in. Im being energetically bullied by your hands in prayer. How can you talk of surrender while you obtain more and more. Stop talking. Stop doing. Stop stealing from the poor. Live yoga. You all love to watch me fall. I betcha cant wait. Just like Bear. I am a proud lost child. A slave to Lila. Tell me how amazing I am and then snatch my ideas up wont you. My art. My soul. Your welcome. It was never mine to begin with. My legs spread wide open. Keep raping. Keep cumming but don’t stay. If i died tomorrow I wonder who would share my life. I wonder if my own funeral would be a no show. Im no victim. Im in rage at the lack of respect for the feminine. My struggle allows you to keep hiding. Well Im not hiding and my struggle is the truth. My rage love. I see right through you. You take and take from the original wisdom and call it your own. Very selfish. Im anxious. Money brings me much fear. I feel paralyzed. Immobile. Nothing left to give so I write. 

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/22/17

ANGELS DONT MESS AROUND

ILL NEVER FORGET THAT DAY IN THE ROCKIES. TWO KIDS SITTING ON THE LEDGE OF THEIR INNOCENCE STILL SUN KISSED. LOST ISLAND SUNSETS IN OUR EYES AND A FIELD OF GOLDEN GAIA CHARMS BEFORE US. HE LOOKED AT ME AND SPOKE HER NAME. I HELD MY BELLY AND MY HEART MELTED. WE NAMED HER AFTER THE LEAF NOT THE TREE. FRAGILE. LIGHT. WHIMSICAL. DANCING. QUAKING. TENDER. PURE. LIKE A NEW BORN. BREATHTAKING AND STUNNING. I’VE CALLED HER MY TREE FOR SO LONG AND NOW I SEE IT WAS TOO SOON.  HOW COULD I ASSUME SHE HAD THE STRENGTH OF ROOTS BEING SO VULNERABLE. BEHIND THE CONSTANT SONGS AND DANCE TOO SMALL TO HOLD THE STORMS SHE WAS ENDURING. NOT EVEN HER OWN. SHE IS BLOWING NOW. OUT OF CONTROL. SINGING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS AND THE WIND IS PICKING UP. YOU ALL LOVE TO HEAR HER SING BUT WHAT IF SHE CRYS FOR HELP? THEN YOU RUN WITH GLASS IN HAND AND WAIT FOR HER NEXT SHOW. PLEASE STOP. THE LIQUID IS POISON IN HER VEINS. ONLY THE CREATOR SERVES THE WINE. LET HER TASTE IT. DROPPING TO MY KNEES I BEG OF YOU… PRAY…ALLOW THE DIVINE NECTAR TO POUR DOWN AND ANOINT HER SKIN. HER BONES. THERE YOU WILL FIND AN ANCIENT FIRE AND A SANCTUARY OF ENDLESS LOVE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. WITH OPEN PALMS I CAN HOLD THE PAIN FOR GOD TOLD ME ITS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT AND TRUE LOVE NEVER LIES. SHE IS MY TRUEST LOVE. DONT BE SCARED TO MEET THE OTHER LOST BOYS AND GIRLS IN THE CHURCH BASEMENT. I'M FOREVER LOST TOO BUT ITS MUCH BETTER WITHOUT THE BOOZE AND THOSE WALLS NEVER JUDGED MY WRETCHED SOUL. ILL NEVER LET HER GO NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES SHE SLIPS THROUGH MY FINGERS. DELICATE LEAVES CAN DO THAT AND THE MOON AND I WERE TALKING. SHE REMINDED ME THAT I STILL HAD A FEW OF HER GARNET SEEDS AND A JAR OF THE BELOVEDS COMPASSIONATE TEARS. BUT WINTER IS HERE I REPLIED…THEY NEED LIGHT TO GROW AND WE ARE NOT IN THE ROCKIES. FATHER SUN APPEARED AND SMILED. I'M ALWAYS SHINING EVEN IN THE DEPTHS OF DARK DESPAIR. WHY DO YOU THINK SHE HAS SO MANY FRECKLES? I TOLD YOU THOSE ARE ANGEL KISSES. GIVE THE SEEDS TO HER THIS TIME. ANGELS DONT MESS AROUND. WE NAMED HER AFTER THE LEAF NOT THE TREE. BREATHTAKING AND STUNNING.

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

12/29/17

I pour unto you

I pour unto to you. Diving into the sacred texts once again. Drowning into our Original Wisdom. Disolving into cosmic fluid. Ancestors resting. Digging down deeper mending these roots. I now melt any conscious or unconscious binds that have caused suffering upon others or upon myself. Please feel my love. Truly. I sing and hold my heart for you over and over again. I hug the trees and drop to my knees yet some still hide. Come out and play. I have no choice but to shower it. I will rise. Descending to ascend. I will return to the waves for they are the truest teachers of alchemy. Of the divine nectar that seeps from my bones. There I will hold my heart and sing to you as I did before. Amo las olas. There is much suffering. I feel it. I witness it. I move it. It rains upon me with each return to this place called home that is home no more. For now that is...The Creator loves to keep me in wandering lust while kissing my wild soul. That's why I'm digging down deep and mending my roots. They were dying. I had to go to the ocean. To be reborn. To the womb where I fell in love like never before. I believe in resurrection. I believe in GOD. In magic. In wonder. In Gaia. In humanity. In love. In you. Jupiter keeps tapping my head with his white tail. Right now! Every moment a shamanic whisper from Spirit. Living a dream. I'm growing down. A child once more. I am a slave for love. Wrapped in The Beloveds arms. I am honey. I am creation ever flowing. I am surrender. I am fluid. I am love. I am not afraid. I am one with all that is. Keep the words simple. We are living art. Our work juicy, sacred, endless. I pour unto you. I now melt any conscious or unconscious binds that have caused suffering upon others or upon myself.                                                                Through unconditional loving light - So be it. 
Pura Vida. One Love. 
Om Shanti Shanti Om

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/3/18

Throw me a rope

Just one glance from you. I'm drowning. Throw me a rope. Im just a little row boat. The sea is reckless like my desire. Are you my island? Im ready to rest. Stop hiding under the surface. Your deep enough for this love. Why else would I waste my time? My heart is longing to be held. Not my flesh. My soul. Intoxicating and sobering. Now theres you and you. Something old. Something new. Ocean eyes drifting into the blue. You feel like fluid. Oh GOD its so fkn beautiful. Im drowning. Something so familiar. Something so foreign. Melting into my bones making me move slow. Dripping. Swelled. Throbbing. Tasting like honey after a bout of bitterness. Letters drawn in sand, paper, stone and trees. Second chances written in the stars. Im gazing. My eyes still fixed on hopeless romance and true love. The most epic love story of all time. Kings and queens. Jim and Pam. Atlantis and Peter Pan. First kisses. Golden wishes. Wild. Running to return. Just one glance from you. Im drowning. Throw me a rope.

 Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/4/18

I want candy

The floors were carpet that led into booths. His hair was blond. His lips juicy and sweet. I wanted candy. He came from a dream. Still living and Im waking. My wheels purple and black. Twirling in childlike ecstasy. 3 shared minutes of timed bliss. With 11 or 12 years of growth we knew how to love. There was a spell that day as our lips touched. Our angels conspiring. Just you and me. Fingers interlaced around your neck. Sweaty hands on my hips. I had to skate backwards but then that allowed me to follow your lead. I like your lead. It still makes me feel safe to this very day. Grabbing for your dads smokes I was exposing my lost innocence. I don't remember that first call. Only the kiss. The cords of our phones tangled. They tangled easy back then. No double lines or call waiting. I'm still waiting. Cords tangled once again. They say the one that got away will forever remain in the heart. Is that why when I think of you I want to cry. Not because Im sad but because I grieve a love that never had a chance. A love that is ours. Its under safe keeping but the clock is ticking. Maybe next lifetime. Why did you run? I saved all my honey for you. When I couldn't find you I went to the tree where your name was carved. I was annoyed. Thats the truth. In the pavement too angels giggling. So I return to your playground. It seems you like to play chase still. How about kiss and tell instead? Different schools. Different cities. I know because I don't know. Please stay not disappear. I will not stand for more disappointment. You get one last chance. Thats it. 30 years since we tasted love. 20 since our blue eyes embraced. There was a river. Rivers lead to oceans. We love the waves. I wanna dive in with you and after snuggle in the back of your truck. I wanna hold you and wake up with messy hair and salty skin. Sandy toes drenched in desire. Hide for days hearing you laugh. I love your laugh. I only want you to be happy. One more time just to see if these two lost gypsy souls are truly dying to love or are just simply lost. King and queen or just two fools. Either way I believe in true love. Either way I believe in you. The floors are still carpet and lead to booths. Your hair still blond. Your lips still juicy and sweet. I want candy.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/5/18

Classic Everytime

My finger tips feel numb and heavy as I write. Chest tight. My skin hot and my stomach sick. You think you know someone eager to love. My ears feel hot. You know the feeling when you've been violated on a heart level. You know…when you find someone out. The dirty southern truth. Spirit loves to keep me guessing. I love Spirit. Our Creator. All that is. You. Me. Even him. Even her. I keep serving some unknown ingredient in the mix. Oh wait, Im only stirring the pot of my dark insecurities. No more. Once again, grateful for the bullshit. Ill use it as compost. Im fkn magic. SatChitAnanda. I believe in love. In truth. Gaia is my mother. Christ my father. And together Ive got a tribe of angels, ancestors, fairies, spirit animals, guides and all you living for love. With a heart of gold I am LOVE. Mother fkn LOVE. It's a revolution. Mountains are looking down on the waves. Such a shame. Just in time before I gave my flesh. This heart….ohhh but this heart of sparkling sweet honey…was a mother fkn gift and don't you ever forget it. No more sacred whore. With love of course. Classic everytime. 

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/6/18

melt it honey sparrow

melt it honey sparrow. fly. you taste so damn sweet. so damn good they keep showing up. you keep pouring. givin it all way. one drip at time. swells turning to waterfalls. only after your ass and endless love. stop showing them. your eyes are fixed soflty on an ocean king. thats why you wait the you do. like a hawk. keeping your pussy pure but your heart raped over and over again. one moe time with love sprinkles on top. NO MORE SACRED WHORE. STOP FKN KNOCKING AT MY DOOR. SO BE IT! melt it honey sparrow. fly. you taste so damn sweet. its no wonder. 

amo las olas - honey saprrow (kf)

 

1/7/18

I surrender

I surrender to Love. I surrender to Compassion. I surrender to Truth. I surrender to Forgiveness. Over and over and over again. Giving thanks endlessly. Melting into golden sparkling cosmic sweet divine fluid...I bow to you holding my heart. I am one with all that is. Still in love llike never before.

amol las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/12/14

Rendered for words

rendered for words. my heart is breaking tonight. breaking. no more tears. please beloved…no more stones cast at this heart. i can not take much more. the undercurrent. too much for this tender love. just stay. show up and be real. Tangible.  there is almost nothing more to give yet they ask for more. him him him and her. my heart feels empty. no honey. no one to hold. thats all i long for. soft words laced in truth and arms around me. truth. my head full of sorrow. I can not sing my song. Longing to melt. backs turned. its heavy. I feel tired. shaken. weak. used up. raw. sad. lonely. Violated. fooled. utterly betrayed. Misunderstood…grateful. rendered for words. please beloved…no more stones cast at this heart. i can not take much more.

Yet…thank you. i still trust you. I'm still in love like never before. 

Amo las olas (honey sparrow) kf

 

1/17/18

no title

no title. i am a woman. a mother. Ive yet to show all my scars. Pride and shame smothering my wounds. I’ve yet to know true love for myself. truth be told my head is bowed in shame and disbelief. unable to stand naked before you. this body. this heart. this soul. Nobody knows my struggle to accept this skin. raped of freedom and preconceived beauty as the feminine. so young. i cry alone and then sing for you. I have been my deepest struggle. my own worst demise. no where to lay my head. i dream of his chest and the simple words….you are so beautiful just as you are. come rest. I'm here for you. i love you. thank you. you are my best friend. those words. instead with tears flooding my heart and my belly sick you have sucked me dry. nipples cracked you watch me bleed out. still you want more. she does too. he doesn't know better. oceans of moaning labor birthing our creation you cast stones at my womb. the mothers womb. on the ground i look up and say…i have nothing left for you. Your big brown eyes are black. I rise. NO! Did you hear me…..NO! i am no victim. I am not your sacred whore! I am a woman. A mother. ready to reveal these scars. You…a selfish boy…a predator…sad and un loved by the feminine. you too dying for the words I've written. thats why you act the way you do. i pray for you. I pray for me. I pray for them. not yours. not mine. ours. over and over i hold my heart and repeat. i surrender into love. I surrender into compassion. I surrender into truth. I surrender into forgiveness. no title. 

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/23/18

this love

this love. is all i have. its yours. The sweetest gift is a warm embrace. a genuine smile. feeling held when alone. a giggle. good conversation. cant get you out of my head. old soul. old heart. old love. Mystery. Chemistry. History. like i dont wanna know. for the first time - i dont wanna know. so i let go. over and over again. makes me want to weep. i dont know why. Every time a little more. its gonna be impossible to stop. Magnetic. Alchemy. connection. undeniable. my cheeks are hot. tinder eyes but not like before. a little red cause you gave her whats mine. you know its mine. let me melt into your chest. so strong. i do love you. not like everyone else. not fully in but not like everyone else. stop saying that. Enough is enough. I'm not playin. either are you. tell me what i want to hear. i feel you. i see you. its been a long time coming. best friends. wandering souls. meet me in the palace not the booth. hide and seek. be my king not my prince. go on your quests but always return to this love. eyes fixed on you those words never his. your nectar never for her. rules are meant for breaking but not hearts. Especially mine. Especially Yours. We know better now. time is on our side. Gwen sang, “you’ve used up all your coupons and all you got left is me. but some how I'm full of forgiveness i guess its meant to be.” ocean eyes. voices falling. waves crashing. Stars aligning. lifetimes. you really are lovely. underneath it all. Thanks no doubt. Truly. thank you for i dont doubt your love for me. found innocence. this love. is all i have. its yours. 

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/24/18

today all i have

today all i have are these words. this ocean of tears. it came last night. waves of salt water from my eyes. just like that. i was served 2 moons ago. one stab to my back. 8 hours of fantasy with him and another stab. this time to the heart. Hopeless fool you are honey sparrow. saving yourself. if i cant see you no more time shall be wasted. Energy. why are you here? what do you want? why do you keep showing up? why do i keep letting you in? theres no door. your out there. its only words. I'm so tired. arms around me please. i long to melt. so lonely. its dark and cold. i am a woman who honors the masculine. its true I relish in the free fall. Hopeless rumi fool.  none of them strong enough. none of them tangible. none of them ready for this love. not even i. i wanna believe in that first kiss. thats why i suffer. this i know. you reap what you sow. the tides of grief keep rolling in. i keep diving in. Pulling me under again and again. no warm water to submerge the pain. I retreat to the shower to wash him away once more. cosmic sludge. i screamed at the top of my lungs and held my heart. Touched my womb and breast and pleaded to the beloved - NO MORE!!!  Sobbing head down…..no more. Please beloved - no more. its been a lifetime. i long for flesh and blood. i surrender. white flag. no more. today all i have are these words. this ocean of tears.

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/28/18

what do you want from me

what do you want from me? I’m bleeding out. blood and guts and honey and puss and cum. more honey please. more love. love is alive. I'm going where love is alive. This grief and longing is dead. its my skin. my bones. to be touched. looking to the stars. hands holding heart. Did you forget about me? 42 years. almost 43. i’ve never felt more sad. sad. yeah. i feel sad. powerless. in this momnet. Don't know how to move it so i cry. weep. pray. write. read. dance. smile. give. be quite. drive. look to gaia and son of god. hide. yeah hide. Mostly i cant even look in the mirror. its true. ocean eyes are murky. truth. yeah truth. this darkness boring now. getting old. what do you want from me? Depth. waves. Big palace. no arms around my aching body. oh my god - to be touched. softly touched even when i wanna be a whore. it came to me. my beloved whispered…”you’ve never been in love. not yet. how so little one - when you continue to do what you do…to you. where is this endless love you write of? speak of? bow to? your cup is empty yet you continue to pour. let me ask you instead - what do you want from me?” i couldn't and cant answer. speechless. please no more. just like i wrote above. no more. head down. sobbing. the salt water gushing. all these words. so hopeless in love with being in love. blind. reckless with my soul. reckless with my heart. i cant let anyone else in. cant let it go. They wont love me. they are making such a mess. I'm a mess. I'm not loving me. i do what i do for you. Never for me cause i don't know how. can someone help? I've been riding this with spirit and i could use some support. not that i dont trust but come on now - something i can feel. flesh and blood. guts and honey and cum. up and down. back and fourth. Round and round. spinning. falling. drowning. Such a fool playing as a goddess.  what do you want from me? 

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

1/29/18

simmer down now

simmer down now. its time. those ARE only words. you and you just a muse. the wind is howling. the storm has almost passed. simmer down now. its time. Those WERE only words and you and you just a muse. 

Amo las las - honey sparrow fly (kf)

 

2/13/18

its been awhile

its been awhile since Ive been here. 2 weeks. its been awhile since i didn't feel drained by un worthy love. 42 years. throw me a rope. my hands keep slipping. gold does that. Its not as sticky as honey but I'm tired of getting stung. its been awhile since Ive been held. Cant remember when it felt safe. Did it ever? Its been awhile since my words we're held. i thought he knew how but he doesn't speak my language of love. love doesn't lie. love doesn't hide. Never mind the rope - bring me a yacht. no more sinking row boats. I'm a royal island. i have a friend there. She’reminded me yesterday. So I return.  its been awhile since I've been here.                    It feels good to be back. 

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

2/16/18

Grief, judgement and surrender

I grieve. They judge. They dont know me. I surrender. They take. They dont see me. This life. Only god. Christ is my beloved. I grieve. He doesn't judge. I surrender. He never takes. He knows me.  He sees me. 

Amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

3/7/18

there once was a man

 There once was a man i thought may be kind

i wrote of him before with love on my mind-

 

he has ocean in his veins and salt on his skin

but how i feel now - nowhere to begin-

 

he lied. 

he lied. 

he lied. 

he lied.

got my legs spread with no surprise -

 

with dirty shirts and young hearts as lovers -

i saw the true him underneath no covers-

 

he will never gain my trust or ever know my heart-

Took a blossoming friendship and ripped it apart-

 

He's a much better runner then a surfer for sure-

The waves are endless and my love is pure-

 

so stay the fuck away and keep your feet on the ground-

karma can be rough and truth never found-

 

   ill take the last line out just to be kind

cuz before your ocean eyes were so on my mind-

 

ive settled down a bit and was able to see your face

knowing full well my worth cuz you leave without a trace-

 

and i told you i loved you and looked in your eyes

i know how you feel - dont act so surprised-

 

but your bed is full and our timing is off

i know for sure now that love was lost-

 

amo las olas - (honey sparrow) kf

 

3/8/18

Endless Love

 

my Love is endless in sweet depth and desire

god holds me like a baby while the ancestors conspire

 

Angels with wings and fairies that never lie

i melt it all with love and let out a sigh.

 

im no saint with sins as scars.

but I'm sacred as fuck and I've come this far

 

the waves are my lovers as the sun kisses my skin

i block out the cancer and dive right in

 

but I'm attracting this disease - i know how it goes

does it make me a Yogi cuz i can touch my toes

 

if i were so awake - i wouldn't be writing this line

over and over again -  classic every time

 

clearing away the karma - clearing away the ruble

im ready you - i dont want anymore trouble

 

ill show my scars - if you show me yours

just dont lie to me - no more sacred whore. 

 

amo las olas - honey sparrow (kf)

 

3/17/18

come here

 

come here. What are you so afraid of?

am i asking you or me cuz you kinda freak me out.

Mmmm…nooooo.

it cant be.

you like poles and dont snuggle.

oh wait you do.

but he's been written before you. it feels wrong and I'm a good person.

Remember?

im still drowned in our lost love.

can you pull me out?

he surly couldn’t.

hes a better runner then swimmer.

im a better lover then surfer.

its my job to love.

so i do.

endlessly.

im gonna love her.

i see mother Mary iN her eyes. in her daughters.

it cant be dear friend. ill fuck it up with my hopeless passion. 

look in my eyes.

Focus.

i know your breath.

i know what you smell like.

i know what you feel like when your still.

like the ocean.

i know you love me.

We melted already. like fluid. 

come here. What are you so afraid of.

Im asking cuz you kinda freak me out. 

 

amo las olas -  honey saprrow (kf)

 

3/26/18

I don't want to think about it

 

I don't want to think about it. Its too easy to just let it flow. 

The waves and salt on your skin are like fluid to my heart.

You’ve been wet a long time. 

I don't even want to write about it but if anyone deserves a poem about love its you.

You've loved many. More then most. Very mis understood.

 I wont go to deep cause the currents here are strong. Like our desires not needs. 

My heart is still tender and my mind still wonders to the other. 

You know that cause I believe in the most epic love story of all time. 

You knew I still wanted him. Us. Our potential.

You know that I'm a hopeless romantic. 

You know that I don't give my self away to just anyone.

You know I fall every time.

Mountains meet the waves. 

Ocean eyes. 

I'm caught in this rip. An endless channel of love for you both.

One friend. One foe.

Unexpected shift in the tides.  

Thats why I stay on the inside.

Timing is everything but I'm not like you. I keep telling you that.

So, I don't want to think about it.

Its too easy to just let it flow. 

Amo las olas - kf

 

4/22/18

You all along

 

You all along.  I don't want to waste another minute.

You make my lips water and cheeks flush. 

Fluid like the ocean.

You smell good and your hair is wild.

Your salty and I know you what you taste like.

My eyes become drunk with love.

Fixed. Fire.

I wanna touch you all the time.

I cant get enough.

I wanna let you in my kitchen.

I wanna go pay the power bill.

I wanna take it so slow.

I wanna speed it up.

I don't wanna know if its gonna last cause its been a long time coming.

I know your just as scared.

Im gonna let you cause the vibes so nice.

You like me messy.  

Kinda too good to be true.

Still written in the stars.

I wanna take you in. 

Every drop.

Don't stop.

You feel so good I wanna cry.

Come closer and do that thing you do when I say no but mean yes. 

Like kids.

Classic every time.

You all along.

I don’t wanna waste another minute.

amo lsa olas - kf (honey sparrow)

 

6/4/18

Why

 

rendered for words.

utter confusion.

no clarity in sight and the swell is coming.

southern.

northern.

my heart was ripped open.

blood and guts all over the beach. 

the vultures came.

i know better then to ask...but still.

how could you leave such a mess?

why?

amo lsa olas - kf (honey sparrow)

 

6/4/18

bad choices. bad boys.

 

i do like em rough. 

salty.

weathered.

riding.

messy.

unavailable.

wild.

bad choices. bad boys.

grow up katie.

good choices. good men. 

amo las olas - kf (honey sparrow)

 

6/6/15

no words

 

no words say a lot -

less is more -

i have less but im always wanting more -

natural girl in a digital world -

your not real -

you dont care -

you like me out there -

privately you want me in here -

secrets like to hide just as kids like to seek -

im no kid anymore even though i act like one -

i dont want to roller skate -

i wanna take a nap in your arms and wake up in a hammock -

i want you to be clear -

why do you waste my time -

why do i let you -

never minutes. hours. hours of conversation -

fantasy -

delusion -

mouth watering sweet talk -

lies i believe -

they all lie -

use my kindness and timeless encouragement to feel good  -

just tap the heart -

i know you want to -

you tap the ones with perfection. flag em for later while i wave mine in the air -

i keep tapping unfollow in hopes i will -

digital bank accounts that leave you broke -

weeks will go by -

nothing but my insecure ass kissing that i claim as long lost love -

classic katie - 

pathetic really -

your selfish. im desperate -

patty sings it would take an acrobat -

we both know endless tricks -

your best one is ghosting -

mine is haunting -

guess its meant to be -

no words -

amo las olas (kf) honey sparrow

 

 

6/14/18

before the barrel

 

please see me -

i cant go on -

there is no where to call home -

i could die here -

in over my head -

throw me a rope -

dont let go -

no sane thought -

love does not live here -

she could not -

where have you gone -

please see me -

this is too big -

can i give up now -

before the barrel -

before love returns -

before the idea of death leaves -

its here -

tapping my shoulder -

dark -

id run too -

i wouldnt let me stay either -

i wouldnt call back either -

i wouldnt respond either -

too much for anyone -

there is nowhere to belong now -

look away its easier -

can i look away now too-

before the barrel- 

before love returns -

please see me -

amo las olas (kf - honey sparrow)

 

 

6/23/18

if ever there was

 

if ever there was a love so tender as my heart - i would not write hopeless words.

im waiting for the inspiration to return.

its been so long. 

numb.

i long to see your face.

extremes.

if ever there was a love as fierce as my heart - i would not write desperate words.

im waiting for the trust to return.

its been so long.

cold. 

i long to kiss your lips.

desire.

if ever there was a love as brilliant as my heart -  i would not write such delusions. 

i would simply be.

its been so long.

obsession. 

i long to know you.

hope.

amo las olas (kf - honey sparrow) 

 

 

8/5/18

Lost in it all

 

Lost in it all

Busy streets

Dusty lines

Dry skin

Sinking heart

Rising from the ash

Lurking in digital waters 

Screws and plates for karma 

No harm ever wished

I dont feel bad

I still feel sick

Dirty hands

Unmade beds

Unfinished business

Unlearned lessons

Sandy feet leaving such a mess

Broken boards 

Snapped leashes

Colored shells

Out of control

Fled for my life to save yours

No gentlemen

Potentials drowned

Worth reclaimed

Clean kitty

17 dogs 

Smoke

A cough

A song

One dread

No waves

Flat like my inspiration

I keep looking 

Where are you?

Lost in it all

amo las olas (kf)

9/27/18

Today I write


Today I write

What will I do with all this

Come

Cum

Enough is enough

The last two did not know how to kiss

Such a shame

A lost art these days

Im hung up on my first

But now I wanna make love

Today I write

What will I do with all this

Enough is enough

Come

Cum

amo laso olas - kf

10/7/18

First Kiss

First Kiss -

He was -

He is -

25 years later -

Still the sweetest -

It’s the things he says -

It’s the comfortable silence in between -

It’s the way he acts like he doesn’t care -

It’s the way he knows when I don’t -

It’s tender -

It’s delicate -

It’s chemistry -

It’s friendship -

Its old -

Its been a long time coming -

Its time to see if its real -

I just did it -

Bought the ticket when he said get it -

Enough is enough -

Didn’t think much about it -

Now I’m scared as fuck -

Excited, pulsating, swollen, wet -

Drunk in desire with the thought of touching him -

Smelling his skin -

Finally -

Eyes burning -

Cheeks flushed -

Roller skates dusty -

Heart and mind polished -

Kitty so clean -

Purring -

I wrote of him last -

Come -

Cum -

He is -

He was -

First Kiss -

amo las olas (kf)

10/17/18

no words

no words

i hate no words

my childhood heart

raped

over and over

maybe ill allow these fine sexy legs of mine to spread open vs my bleeding muscle

spread wide open

wet

throbbing

so fkn sweet

waiting on you

you lost all your chances

how dare you deny me again

same month

different year

you

my long lost friend

i told you all my secrets

i dusted off the skates

i made the effort

you ran

like a boy

no man

i like men

men that can love

talk

anyone can fuck

i can make myself cum

just give me a hard cock and ill put your name on it

just give me my cute little fingers with swollen dripping lips and ill put your name on it

please

im gonna dust you

shake it off

get the fuck out

you aint never getting back in

selfish

lies

you were my first

this was the last

my thighs are week

i bought the ticket like a real woman

your a coward with your dick between your legs

soft so keep keep running

i want it hard

real

dont ever look at me again

you promised to put it down

i dont wanna fuck

thats what you said

i wanna make love

love?

fuck you

show up

your a pussy

naaa…pussy is good

your an asshole

full of shit

no words

i hate no words

amo las olas - kf

10/19/18

Me Either

Thank you for setting this illusion free

I know you never meant for this happen

Me either

I know I need to just chill

I know i want more

I know you need less

I know you remember what you said

I know you know it

We just came crashing back in

Both a little tired from it all

You hate to be told what to do

I hate to be denied

We both love to bring it hard

Both a little stubborn

Classic really but that fantasy is over

The confusion is clear babe

The tension of our desire so thick it can be cut with a knife

Lets just cut it up

Rip it to shreds

Bless it up

Blow it the wind

Call it off like you said

So then why old friend

Why did you call this morning

Thank you for setting this illusion free

I know you never meant for this to happen

me either

amo las olas (kf)

10/27/18

Little

Little

I am little

Its moving

Almost done

I use to only care about seeing him

Now I only care about forgetting

I cant wait till I dont care

Just like him

Care

But I am caring just like Im little and I dont want to stop

I screamed in the shower to GET OUT until I lost my voice

I held my heart and kicked and threw empty punches to the wind

I didnt speak the rest of the day

We dont speak

I dont need to feel big

Im not big

Big

Little

(amo las olas _ kf)

10/29/18

November 1st

2 more days

November 1st

I just need to get on the road

Portland

Best friends, baby in the belly and a long hug

Cali

Him

They both keep pulling ay my heart

That ticket

The price I pay to be set free

My lack of self love to blame

Its almost over

I just want this to be over

I need this to be over

No amount of money could make it right

Insulting really

I squealed in delight every time I thought of you

I did

I cried in despair at the illusion and loss of you

I did

I forgave you

I do

I love you

I do

I honestly do

2 more days

November 1st

(amo las olas - kf)

11/7/18

I am the ocean

I am the ocean

(amo las olas - kf)

2/23/19

I haven’t been here in awhile

it hurt too much

i gave up when he said call it off

I did

all hope lost

i’ve been hiding in my old leather journal

its safer

we all just want to feel safe

respected

why does the loss of love inspire me so

why does the potential

all has slipped from my hands

never meant to be tangible

kinda like the in-between

have you ever tried to hold onto water

you can’t

amo las olas (kf)

2/24/19

timing

its funny about timing

stars aligning I finally got to see you

touch you

smell you

PG style

your potential reminds me of the seconds and minutes in between

kinda like the miles that divide us

after 9 months dry I don’t want a sip

I wanna get drunk

fuck saving it

ive been here before though

many times

diving deep only to get pulled out fighting to get back in

giving it all away to princes and thieves

swept back to the shore only to find my castle full of sand with unpolished mirrors

such a mess

I want to stop and meet you in the middle where our potential doesn’t care about minutes or seconds

where I don’t need to save it anymore

its funny about timing

amo las olas (kf)

2/25/19

masses

why now

after all this time old friend

you hurt me

I hurt you too

you dragged my heart all around

drank all my honey

drop by drop

left me dry

left me weary

left me nothing

like a fkn fool

I will not play that part again

im a queen

im the most delicate

vibrant

beautiful

fragrant flower in a garden where you had no senses

no respect

shame on me for allowing it

I don’t want to share this dirty space anymore

spaces where they leave such a mess

come in with their records, surf boards, careless whispers, third parties and broken promises

bending me over

calling it good

shut the fuck up

we don’t need to talk

but you did listen

you did talk

and you never bent me over

not that I would have minded from you

I don’t need another karmic lesson though

I don’t need you

or him

or him

or him

or him

or him

so why now old friend

and an ig message of all things

along with everyone else I said you weren’t

do you remember what I said

I said

I love you

you didn’t believe me

its all a show anyways

nobody cares

I let you backstage

we didn’t get the chance to say goodbye with much closure

still

I remember your last words

you said

yes I love you and think your beautiful

but I guess when I say that i’m just joining the masses

masses

amo las olas (kf)

2/27/19

till we meet again

how dare you show up here fresh from some other woman

getting close and making me hot

letting me touch you cause you know im pent up

massaging your body

hands all over my ass

such a tease

I still like you though

you know it

your actually real

showed up

from cali of all the places

ironic

so ill give you that

but your a dangling carrot

and I want the grand buffet

all to myself

I told you

over and over

how I don’t share

how im saving it

now you believe me

maybe a little mermaid starstruck

surfboards in your eyes

snowboards too

sexy as fuck

too much

telling me politely over raw fish

im fresher than that sashimi

and your new lover

or the digital betties

and im not your lover

or your betty

im just a woman you met for the first time

fresh and so clean

im flattered really

but still

you thought you could take me

they all want it and im not gonna give it up

how dare you show up here fresh from some other woman

Amo las olas -kf

3/2/19

im tired of writing of potential and loss

I want to write of love that stays

kf

its 3:54am

I have something new in my body

im in so much pain

the pills don’t seem to help

gotta be careful little addict

take it slow

feel it

living and hiding for 20 years can leave anyone insecure

its not for him

its for me

I welcome my new additions

I thank my body with tenderness

I trust my healing process

I trust my temple

I trust my mind

I trust my heart

kf

4/3/19

Digital Love

what took you so long to show me my worth

another 4 hours here and there

apologies and old fantasies

this time you pulled at my recovered alcoholic heart strings

those damn compassionate eyes that never sleep

more then 4 months later

no money

no plain ticket

no plans to make it real

make it right

nothing really

I listened all day

told you I love you

how special you are

you ate it all up

I entertained it

I think you want to mean it

I want to believe it

Into the morning as I could feel the familiar ghost of you I reached out to see

You appeared to my surprise at the vision of my new tits and inviting thighs

my ass in jiggle with seductive eyes

you pleaded more more more

then I asked you for one

haven’t heard from you since

sent a few songs

some loving words

my usual

i’m starving now while your full

what took you so long to show me my worth

your boredom I guess

lets see how long it takes for you to come back around

how hungry you’ll need to get

when you show up in famine and thirst please bring your wallet

your still owe me at least 150 and I could really use the cash

kf - honey sparrow

4/5/19

I don’t have the energy to be human anymore

kf - honeey sparrow

4/10/19

King

Loving

Kind

Compassionate

Available

Smart

Conscious

Positive

Mindful

Adventurous

Surfer

Outdoorsman

Artistic

Creative

Musical

Respectful

Witty

Fun

Tender

Athletic

Strong

Protective

Patient

Confident

Hopeful

Sexual

Driven

Hardworking

Trusting

Dependable

Attractive

Considerate

Giving

Receiving

Receptive

Intuitive

Focused

Honest

Supportive

Open

Spiritual

Traveler

Wanderer

Affectionate

Vulnerable

Healthy

Non smoker

Gentle

Fierce

Monogamist

Adores my kids

Appreciative

Optimistic

Abundant

Manifesting

Unattached

Understanding

Wild

Sacred

Curious

Forgiving

Natural

Thoughtful

Romantic

Communicator

Listener

Humble

Clear

Himself

Mine

amo las olas - kf

4/11/19

Last one for you

As much as I love you I have to let you go

You are no good for me

You take

I give

You leave me in the cold and ignore me for days

I keep it warm and always show up

You don’t respect me

You do not appreciate me

You use me like the others

I forgive but this is done

You are not the worthy muse

I have let you in for the last time

Fuck the money

Its why I asked

I knew you wouldn’t answer

Just like I knew you’d sabotage our time

Our friendship

My love

My heart

My compassion

You have been kicked out

I now cut any and all karmic ties that bind us

Right here and right now

I am free

So be it

kf

4/13/19

Its been a long time

I just want to be held today

Id do about anything to be held

I can’t remember how it even feels

Like I wanna take a nap in his arms and not get up for days

The last 4 years have been more like rape of my Spirit

More more more

Give me give me give me

Legs, heart, mind and wallet spread wide open while my soul screams no

Why I have continued to say yes is tragic

Its been a long time

kf

4/16/19

I can’t sleep

I come here where nobody treads

Its safer

Less sharks

Digital waters are so fkn polluted

Id like to take those filters and hashtags and drown their judgement

Just fkn swim

Like it takes so much courage to be real

It does actually

While you take my scars, stretch marks, internal torment and abandonment to lunch remember that courage

while you tag my images and save them for later remember that courage

Stroke it harder and harder

Faster and faster

Such a pretty little rage isn’t she

Just fkn cum

No wonder my tits inflated

Not from nursing those babies but from nursing boys

Do you know what its like to beg for love

from your father

from your brother

from your husband

from every man that has ever been

No wonder my rib goes out

My flesh has been eaten

Blood and guts all over the floor

Heart stopped beating

Just fkn speak

Such a pretty little mess isn’t she

They like me down

Defeated

Im kinda over being vulnerable

its either that or feeling nothing

I think id die

they say I speak to much

reveal too much

that’s what happens when you’ve been left so many times

you don’t know anything but to share it all hoping they will stick around

arms in the air

tears steaming down

all hidden with a golden smile and sparkling eyes

see me see me see me

love me love me love me love me

keep me keep me keep me

Just fkn stay

Such a hot little wreck isn’t she

I cant sleep

kf

4/17/19

Death

My leather journals are full of gems

My sketch books of alchemy

My IG is a daily poetry slam

This is something else

Birth

kf

4/20/19

release

its lonely here

anxious

fight or flight

overwhelmed

can’t sleep

no ocean

no wanderers

no intimacy

no authenticity

its a fun circus

like our country

like my mind

its lonely here

release

kf

4/24/19

it almost gone

its almost here

im not talking about days under the sun

im referring to this condition Im in

the one I can’t get away from

its almost gone

its almost here

if

4/24/19

ps…

ill write of tranquility and ocean vanilla soon

honey and sand

fresh coconut water and love making

surf and sunsets

Ill write of tranquility and vanilla soon

6/24/19

2 months later

I don’t have anything to write about when it comes to tranquility or ocean vanilla

no honey or sand

no fresh coconut or love making

no surf or sunsets

I don’t have anything to write about when it comes to tranquility or ocean vanilla

2 months later

6/26/18

im coming here

as I let go

dying

im not shedding cars and homes anymore

i’m shedding my internal belief system

all of it

I really don’t care either way

I gave up

I already told God

I don’t feel anything now

numb

this is new

this place of dark surrender

ill be gone with these words that very few if any have read is left

im coming here

as I let go

dying

6/27/19

maybe if I keep writing it will go away

this obsession

you don’t want to know what it is

it scares even me

maybe if I keep writing it will go away

6/29/19

today I feel sick

shaky

my entire body hurts

I got into bed yesterday at 2pm and its 6:32am now

I don’t feel well

I haven’t for years

I keep coughing

I think my body is finally giving out

my heart has done too much

Im queasy everyday

I feel like I have a slight fever all the time

my cheeks are flushed and Im exhausted

im really exhausted

my thighs feel weak

I went to see the counselor

I didn’t like her fingernails painted like America and she passed me some talking stick like I was 5

I could have killed myself right there in her office as she was testing my death thoughts with no eye contact

her fingertips tapping eyes glued to the keyboard I looked around her stale office

i’m never gong back

i’m having all my blood drawn next week

looking for a reason not to live

I don’t like this

I know I don’t have much time

i’m not telling anyone

nobody is out there anyways

its so different being alone

these final days

I don’t feel well

I haven’t for years

I keep coughing

7/18/19

i’m writing of waves

im going home

the ocean

hope and butterfly’s

conscious connections

it was rough and soft

it was hard

I came here where very few have tread

thank goodness for symbols

thank goodness for expression

im writing of waves

8/5/19

Twin Flame

Such a bummer 

Such a waste of time 

Only you and I know the depths over distance

I know you know 

I’ll never be able to talk about it in my light hearted way 

Bridges are ash

I had to burn it down 

You forgot I’m fire while you were drinking my last sips of water 

I feel dehydrated now 

I don’t care about your timing

I am someone’s first choice 

Not second 

Enough is enough 

I don’t want to play 

I want to taste it 

I don’t want to wait for your courage and payback 

I want you to man up 

Grow up 

Show me some effort 

I want to hold the heart you gave me so recklessly after a few beers and I don’t even drink

I don’t want to talk anymore 

I want tangibility 

I understand now 

You never respected me

You never valued me

This is the lesson I’m taking home

How can I truly love myself entirely if I continue to attract and allow this energy into my life 

Thank you for that alone 

Such a bummer

Such a waste of time

9/9/19

If it actually happens

the second kiss

I guarantee it will be the last